People ask what gives me the right to moralize all the time about wealthy people. Let me face that question head on: I certainly don't pretend to be better than any one else. My own vices are extensively documented. I am deeply ashamed of what I have done, but no longer try to conceal my prior life. Perhaps my own sojourn in Wealth Bondage, as an Apprentice Dungeon Master to the Stars, before I was Born Again, as a Morals Tutor to America's Wealthiest Families, has made me overly sensitive to vice and folly. I could say that it all happened long ago when I was young and foolish. I could stand here today and say that I disciplined wealthy people in Wealth Bondage, but did not enjoy it. But let me be truthful: I am addicted to Wealth Bondage, and always will be. I loved spanking wealthy people of both sexes and all genders. To this day my palms sweat just thinking about it. But having pimped and whored, like St Augustine, I know the evils I repudiate. As I have saved myself from a Life of Sin in Bondage to Wealth, so I now save others, through philanthropy, ok? We are all in Wealth Bondage. We worship the Idols of the Market and call them Brands. We are enslaved to the Pleasures of its Fleshpots and call it Freedom. There is no 'outside' of Wealth Bondage. Even many of our Houses of Worship are sites of sin, hardly less riotous than a Bordello. Others are Mega-Churches run like corporations, driving us deeper into materialism, in the holy name of Jesus. Our schools are financed by liquor taxes, cigarette taxes, gambling casinos, lotteries, and other open invitations to sin and vice. Our democracy has been auctioned off to the highest bidders by Prostitutes in High Office. While there is no cure, with the moral support of other sinners we can make the golden chains of our addiction to wealth a little lighter. One day a time.
Update: Just back from rehab. Feeling much better, thank you. Lithium should smooth out the high and lows. In some ways, honestly, the straight-jacket was a source of peace. I recommend it to many of my clients. The electroshock was good too. Don't knock it if you haven't tried it.