<Not part of the Operative Disclaimer but provides needed context>
Please Return any Prior Disclaimers You May Have in your Possession
Wealth Bondage and Gifthub are constantly co-evolving to serve you better. Our Disclaimers are no exception. Any prior disclaimers in your possession are the sole property of Wealth Bondage and must be returned immediately.
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The Nature of Wealth Bondage
Wealth Bondage is reality as it appears to us within The Market, as you have known it since birth. There is no "outside" of Wealth Bondage. The Happy Tutor who appears in these pages from time to time, as variously Phil's mentor, former supervisor, Dungeon Master to the Stars, drunkard, amateur scholar, Secular Priest, and Phil's altar ego, alias, pseud, boon companion, sock puppet, and/or figment of the imagination, is in fact a character out of Erasmus's Praise of Folly, drawn by Holbein, used here within the limits of Fair Use. He and all other Characters on this site, with the exception of Phil Cubeta, who speaks in propria persona, as himself, are Fictions as allowed by law. Wealth Bondage is a satire in the Augustan Tradition. All references to Bondage, Thralldom, Spanking, Beatings, Branding, the Stocks, Pillory, Rack, or Submission to a Higher Being are to be taken as Allegories, Fables, or Parables provided as a courtesy of Wealth Bondage. For a real beating consult your own Professional Advisors. In case of unexplained welts or rash consult your Immediate Superior.
The Nature of Gifthub.org
Gifthub.org is Phil Cubeta's personal blog.
Relationship of the Parties
Wealth Bondage is an internationally acclaimed Brand. Phil Cubeta is not.
The Purpose of Wealth Bondage
Wealth Bondage is a work of Art; specifically, it is a Menippean satire, in the tradition of Rabelais, Martial, Erasmus, Dryden, Swift, Pope, and John Gay. As such, WB may engage from time to time in non-literal speech. Wealth Bondage is provided for the delight and instruction of our loyal customers.
The Purpose of Gifthub
To promote philanthropy, improve the habits and morals of the world's wealthiest families and to uplift the advisors to those families so that the world can be healed of its abject materialism and return to God or gods, as appropriate, subject to the discretion of each reader.
Current Status of Wealth Bondage
Invisible. Pervasive. Open to all. Closed to none.
Current Status of Gifthub
Under review by top management with potentially adverse implications.
Wealth Bondage is Biblical. Wealth Bondage is an allegory pointing towards a better world under the aspect of eternity. Gifthub is wholly secular. Wealth Bondage seeks to redeem humankind from thralldom to sin and death. Gifthub seeks Wealth, Pleasure, and Prestige for Phil Cubeta.
Binding One-Way Opt Out
Certain Personal Services of Wealth Bondage are provided to readers of Gifthub as to the General Public at Large at no charge and at the sole discretion of The Happy Tutor. Subject to the terms of the binding one-way opt out, acceptance of the service is mandatory at the option of The Happy Tutor. If the option is not exercised, the service is prohibited.
By reading any and all posts on Gifthub, whether on personal or on company time, the reader agrees to hold Wealth Bondage harmless. The reader acknowledges that as a work of art Wealth Bondage (and by extension, Gifthub.org) may employ from time to time various literary devices, including but not limited to metaphor, allusion, conceits, symbolism, soliloquey, free indirect discourse, dialogism, unreliable narrators, Author Functions, doubles, foreshadowing, subtexts, dramatis personae and hidden meaning for the sole purpose of the reader's moral instruction and reform. However, the risks inherent in such an effort are great, and the outcome is always uncertain. There are no guarantees that the reader's habits and morals will be improved, nor that the reader's self-esteem will remain undamaged. Many readers report that self-loathing rises with self-knowledge. For some the suffering may be eternal. Wealth Bondage makes no prediction as to the outcome of any given case.
Fair Use by Natural Persons
Art like advertising belongs to the people. We can sing a jingle without royalties. Many words and phrases are not yet trademarked. Brand names are in the public domain if used for ordering product. We can repeat jokes without paying overrides. Even prayer is free. As The Happy Tutor has imitated the Ancients, so you may appropriate his work within the limits of Fair use.
Fair Use by Non-Natural Persons
Wealth Bondage promotes open communication and active collaboration between natural and non-natural persons. So, as a Marketer, or PR Expert, or Attorney, employed by a non-natural person, go ahead and read and enjoy. You can even learn stuff about prose style from us. You may use those skills, but only for noncommercial purposes, and only if the material you create is approved by us in advance in order to preserve the integrity of our brand.
For Public Benefit Purposes Only
Gifthub is provided as a public service.
Not to be Relied Upon
All posts on Gifthub are provided "as is." Wealth Bondage makes no warranty of the factual accuracy, tone or tenor, import or effect, of any post whatsoever with the exception of this one.
Premium Wealth Bondage Services are provided at no extra charge to Ultra-High-Net-Worth Clients in Good Standing. Trusted Advisors are welcome, if accompanied by an adult client with net worth of $50 million or more and/or income of $1 million or more. Please keep your Advisor on a short leash. If your advisor is used to special treats, please bring your own. Generic pet treats can be found in the vending machines on the Patron's level.
The Master Contract
By entering Gifthub you have agreed to all terms and conditions of the Wealth Bondage Master Contract. (Currently under review by Senior Leadership.)
No Common Control
Wealth Bondage is a socially beneficial enterprise wholly owned by Candidia (Candy) Cruikshanks, she who rules us all. Gifthub would like to thank Mistress Candidia for making this site possible through a generous ongoing grant of subsistence. Gifthub remains a work of art in its own right.
Questions? Complaints? For legal recourse please contact Phil Cubeta.
Phil Cubeta, as sole editor of Gifthub, is wholly responsible for all posts. While Phil may, from time to time, operate inside Wealth Bondage for certain confidential client-based personal services, all posts on Gifthub.org are treated with the express prior permission of Wealth Bondage as "outside" Wealth Bondage for purposes of legal liability. All opinions are Phil's own, subject to retraction. For Phil Cubeta, Wealth Bondage takes no responsibility of any kind, formal or informal. He does not speak for Wealth Bondage. He is not operating now nor has he ever operated in any official Wealth Bondage capacity, other than handing out towels, except as otherwise noted.
Dr. Amrit Chadwallah, Senior Adjunct in Charge of Hidden Meanings regrets that he cannot answer all your questions about Wealth Bondage personally. There is simply not enough time to deal with the escalating international demand for clarification. From time to time, however, Dr. Chadwallah will provide an explanation of certain posts, or the ongoing symbolism of Wealth Bondage as it works itself into the Gifthub, "between the lines."
Tax, Legal, Financial, and Philanthropic Advice
Neither Wealth Bondage, Phil Cubeta, nor any other character, person, or pseud on this site provides tax, legal, financial, or philanthropic advice. For such advice Wealth Bondage recommends that you always rely on the advice of your own professional counsel.
(Fr) Brennan, formerly a real priest, now free of doctrinal taint, is available during normal business hours in Wealth Bondage to take your confession, assign penance, conduct marriages, do annulments, conduct exorcisms, sacrifice a goat, ram, or lamb, conduct a values audit, do family mission statements, and provide last rites, funerals, blessing for fleets, or cubicles, and generally perform the offices of a Secular Priest within the limits of Wealth Bondage understood as a fiction.
For real sacraments, religious services, spiritual counsel, or consolation, Wealth Bondage recommends that you always rely on your own professional Priest. By priest in this context Wealth Bondage means any and all holy men, women, or children, duly ordained or licensed without regard to race, color or creed.
If you need a referral to an Independent Spiritual Advisor, Wealth Bondage can provide a list of no less than three Qualified Spiritual Advisors for your consideration. Please specify your preference as to genre. Neither Wealth Bondage nor Phil Cubeta make any claims as to the abilities, or holiness, of any Spiritual Advisor, real or secular. Each human soul is different. There are no cookie cutter solutions to your Salvation. You are responsible for the choices you make in this dark world.
Your Moral Well Being
Your moral health is important to us. That is why we do the work we do. Our entire staff here in Wealth Bondage wants to see you grow as a moral being. Just let us know your goals for your own moral improvement and we in Wealth Bondage stand ready to help you close the gap. If you do not meet the $50 million or more and/or income of $1 million a year or more required for membership in Wealth Bondage, Phil can help you here at Gifthub. We in Wealth Bondage believe in saving as many as possible, even the poorest among you, even the imprisoned, the sick, the demented, within the limits of what Phil can do himself on his own time without an official budget or paid staff.
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