Tutor, I said, with your unimpeachable integrity, and your willingness to provide progressive discipline (OTK) to even the most powerful and well connected clients, why don't you become the Pro Bono Regulator and Auditor for Triple Bottom Line Businesses? Those who work in these businesses can submit their Balanced Scorecard to you. Then, after you review, and adjust the card for Material Mis-Statements, Obfuscation, Self Congratulatory Rhetoric, Unproven Assumptions, and Metrics Measuring Sunbeams, you can compell any necessary Confession, Penance, or Restitution. In this way we could create a truly viable social capital marketplace, with suitable checks and balances and prevent another investment Bubble. Surely, Stanford Social Enterprise Review, Jed Emerson, Lucy Bernholz, Ford and Rockefeller Foundations, and their Boards will see the wisdom of these Institutional Checks and Balances, lest we repeat the excesses we have seen over the years from the One Bottom Line firms and the Auditors, Regulators, Independent Rating Agencies, Statesmen, and Judges, these firms have so often corrupted?
Phil, The Happy Tutor replied, wearing a new pinstripe suit made of finest wool, casually flipping a solid gold doubloon, and flashing his new diamond encrusted fang grill, as he leaned from the back seat of his new chauffeur driven limousine, I can assure you Impact Investing is not a Bubble. I have personally checked into the sagacity and bona fides of the promoters. I have found them one and all to be above reproach. I rate them all Triple Grade A Prime.Yes, they will make good money. They are job creators. They got me this gig. And they could get you one too if you learn to dance on a string. Repent? I only repent the years I spent reading literature. Western Civ, as Pound said, is an "old bitch gone in the teeth." Its not worth fighting for. Get yours while you can. In another few years there will be no public goods left to steal.
As always, Tutor is way ahead of me. So, if you have a Triple Bottom Line Social Impact Investment for which you need an Independent Rating Solution, please contact me at this blog. A modest gift is always appreciated. We accept cash, credit cards, negotiable securities, and gifts in kind. Most recently we accepted 300 head of cattle in return for rating some African dung fired cook stove initiative. (150 head to take the job and 150 head contingent on the A+++ Rating.) But every deal is different. What have you got and what do you need? Let's deal.
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