Wealth in Families, Family Wealth, and variations on those words are hot in financial advisory circles. Many of the masterworks in this genre are (naturally) written by men, or by well trained women whose voices sound like a man. My concern is that women have traditionally been far wiser about family, or about relationships in general, than are men. And now, sad to say, women know as much as men do about business, finance, practical politics, authority, and law. What will happen, then, when women begin to speak in their own voices about wealth, wealth in families, family wealth? The men will sound like unctuous, pontificating, self-important, sentimental, insufferable little pricks. But how is that different, the women may ask, from now? To silence these isolent voices, may I suggest, men, that we, as judges of professional propriety, return to some time honored practices, like the dunking stool, before we lose control of some very lucrative conversations. If women turn out to be the wisest about love and money, this would mean that we as men would, to generate business, have to sound womanly! So, men, much is at stake and we must hurry, lest we lose not only our preeminence but also our dignity.
The men will sound like unctuous, pontificating, self-important, sentimental, insufferable little pricks. But how is that different, the women may ask, from now?
Lol, I know men like that, they are so funny! Want some fun? When one of the older, creakier types bends over to retrieve a file or some such (god forbid!) give him a little nudge with the heel of your boot. Oh, my, you should see them try to recover, hilarious!
Posted by: Felicity Boonridge Camell | August 11, 2010 at 04:32 PM
You have internalized male business norms, Felicity, which may account for your ongoing success in life.
Posted by: Phil Cubeta | August 11, 2010 at 05:20 PM
You seldom hear them called "male business norms," Phil, but, yes, I suppose I've "internalized" a few. :)
Posted by: Felicity Boonridge Camell | August 11, 2010 at 06:06 PM
Felecity, I can only hope you are dressed in drag attempting such trickery. We women are best left cornered in cubicles and filling coffee pots. This is what I have found. Safer a skirt than a suite.
Phil, male business norms? This is what we women adore - a blazing hot match of testosterone and ego all at one table. Lest you come back the looser.
Posted by: A. Nughthur-Skirt | August 11, 2010 at 06:21 PM
Strategies, tactics, measured and managed to results with three bottom lines (people, planet, profit), none of which is a hemline. Business is about winners and losers. Women, being less logical, and more easily distracted, get all hung up on nurturing, collaborating, inspiring, in "being the change" they seek in the world. Men understand that the earth is meant to be conquered and exploited. Women carry these special glands all their lives and look upon themselves as serving with the milk of human kindness something humble, small, squalling, and helpless. Now, of course, there are honorable exceptions, including Lady MacBeth and my own Immediate Superior, Candidia Cruikshanks. They play on the the other male norm: craven bootlicking. ("Kiss up and kick down.")
Men in family wealth consulting say that Junior and Sis embody four kinds of capital, which must be managed, by a wise mentor in a bowtie. Women in Wealth Consulting, with PhDs and more, take good notes in these lectures in their nice feminine penmanship and dutifully recite it in their books and articles.
Then they go home and treat their own children and grandchildren as human beings, with love, care, humor, and concern, rather than as human resources to be managed to preserve "the family balance sheet."
The world will be a distinctly better place when the distinquished male experts in Wealth and Families shut up, sitting by the hearth, and these same educated women gently introduce a note of reality. Until then, the field will rock along with the most asinine and life denying ideology (of mastery and control of families on analogy with business, finances, or the body politic) being treated as wisdom.
One of the best I know in this business is 70 years old, a professional football player, and former life insurance agent, turned expert in families. He says that our job is like coaching the receivers in football. We have to coach them how to receive the ball lofted to them by their parents, otherwise the kid will get creamed by the opposition who all want the ball (the millions). He is right, of course, in what he means, but do we really want a professional football player teaching ethics and urbanity to a 9 year old young woman on analogy with running a passing route? "Ok, Kid, fake left, then go deep!"
Posted by: Phil Cubeta | August 11, 2010 at 06:42 PM
Handsome women never tell.
Posted by: Felicity | August 12, 2010 at 01:26 AM
...serving with the milk of human kindness something humble, small, squalling, and helpless.
Lovely.
Posted by: Felicity | August 12, 2010 at 01:53 AM
Maybe a dance metaphor,
http://www.vimeo.com/8442376
instead of Mr. Touchdown?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c0mUg4yebrY
Posted by: Felicity | August 12, 2010 at 02:00 AM
Dance score rules.
Posted by: Phil Cubeta | August 12, 2010 at 04:50 PM
I prefer the video game metaphor...
http://vimeo.com/12625441
Posted by: A. Nughthur-Skirt | August 12, 2010 at 06:55 PM
Ms. Skirt, thank you. Blogged it.
Posted by: Phil Cubeta | August 12, 2010 at 08:06 PM
Bang nuts, chick #2 nailed it.
Posted by: Jack Clack | August 12, 2010 at 08:57 PM
Upon Chick #2 is hereby conferred the title of Dumpster Denizen First Class, with all the rights and privileges appertaining therunto. Break out the best bottle of Thunderbird and raise a toast.
Posted by: Phil Cubeta | August 12, 2010 at 09:35 PM
Bird's the word.
Posted by: Jack Clack | August 12, 2010 at 09:49 PM
"The history of Thunderbird is as interesting as the drunken effects the one experiences from the wine. When Prohibition ended, Ernest Gallo and his brothers Julio and Joe wanted to corner the young wine market. Earnest wanted the company to become "the Campbell Soup company of the wine industry" so he started selling Thunderbird in the ghettos around the country. Their radio adds featured a song that sang, "What's the word? / Thunderbird / How's it sold? / Good and cold / What's the jive? / Bird's alive / What's the price? / Thirty twice." It is said that Ernest once drove through a tough, inner city neighborhood and pulled over when he saw a bum. When Gallo rolled down his window and called out, "What's the word?" the immediate answer from the bum was, "Thunderbird.'"
via http://www.bumwimne.com
The poor are an untapped source of commerce. The bottom 1% are a market of great interest to me, since our largest donors are the extreme poor. Well, actually, we have gotten no gifts, just the subsidy from Wealth Bondage and that was all business, as was made clear to me. But the very poor have stolen less from me than have the rich, the politicians, and Candidia herself, so in that sense they are the biggest donors, relatively speaking.
Posted by: Phil Cubeta | August 13, 2010 at 01:51 PM
One of the persistent themes of Informant38's blog has been the humanity of women, and their courage, versus the inhuman, machine-like uber-trampling of nurturing life by the works of men on Earth. Many, many rich examples of both of many years. I commend it warmly to your readers -
http://informant38.blogspot.com/
Posted by: Tom Matrullo | August 14, 2010 at 08:03 AM
Thanks, Tom, for drawing attention to this.
Posted by: Phil Cubeta | August 14, 2010 at 09:46 AM
I should have included a link to informant's other blog, which frequently points to works of and by women:
http://dirtybeloved.blogspot.com/
Posted by: Tom Matrullo | August 14, 2010 at 11:16 AM
Thank you, Tom. Very hard to see such a fine sensibility, so dignified, and so close to the edge.
Posted by: Phil Cubeta | August 14, 2010 at 11:39 AM
Indeed Phil - thank you.
Posted by: Tom Matrullo | August 14, 2010 at 11:48 AM