To Whom it May Concern

Gifthub is an immortal work of art in the Menippean Tradition, written in an inspired state by our Omniscient Author Function, Phil Cubeta, Morals Tutor to America's Wealthiest Families from a Padded Cell (for obvious reasons he calls his Dumpster), under the alias, or alter ego, The Happy Tutor, Dungeon Master to the Stars in Wealth Bondage. Phil is a real person, though, as well as a valued colleague, now out of the office on mental disability. I know all our readers and customers wish Phil a speedy recovery. - Dr. Amrit Chadwallah, Assistant Editor, Pro Tem, Wealth Bondage Private Client Philanthropic Services Group, writing on behalf of the entire Wealth Bondage Team.  

Comments

[Albert]

Mental disability has been a hallmark of the Happy Tutor's work. Why would he want to recover from that? After all, any fool can tell the truth, but it requires a man of unusual talent to bludgeon it so artfully.

[Phil Cubeta]

I take that as a compliment, Albert. The world is mad, all of them, not me. But there are so many of them. And now they lock me up. I who have the answers to the eternal mysteries.

[fp]

Say. Didn't I meet you once in the Department of Prince and Drawstrings deep in the bowels of the British Museum? You were the one poring over Dorothy George's extension of the catalog of political and personal satires. No, wait! That was me. You were the one deeply engrossed in some leather bound volume on Menippean satire. Perhaps it was the dust that made you sneeze. In any event, I was embarrassed when you refused my handkerchief, a cloth quite clean, recently laundered, and scarcely used (and then only to clean my spectacles).

[phil]

Mennipus, yes, actually to be honest, I discovered his long lost works that afternoon, and have just now begun publishing them. This post is the first. If it seems much better than my usual, that is the reason: I stole it from Mennipus himself.