Capitalism is Under Siege
Give Until it Hurts
Or, else, It will hurt a whole lot worse, trust me!
total crap! To say that I rule the world, make markets rise and
fall, sell illusions on tv, influence politicians, suborn philanthropy, and immiserate you pathetic little cubicle dwellers is just so wrong. Wealth Bondage is all
about Freedom, honey. Yes, there is suffering. Yes, there is injustice. Yes, you personally are totally screwed. So what? Free markets make me do it! Those who would
overthrow me had better think twice, or I will spew oil in the Pacific
too, crash the Greek economy, destroy your retirement savings, and leave
you and your family pecking at my boots to ask, "O Mistress, what can
we do for you that you might spare us?" Be aware, my loyal little
munchkins: For our Economy is a Communist organization, sic 'em O'Reilly! Show Momma what a good little boy
you are. So fierce, defending Freedom! Bold Fresh, you kill me, God
what a joke. The rest of you, loyal idiots, Give Generously to Gift Hub Today
to Save Capitalism and your Precious Freedom! Every dollar will go directly to me to advance my work in this dark world. I need every fucking dime! Melt your wedding rings, pull out your Dad's gold fillings. Sell your daughter into prostitution. But give me my due!
- I approved this post, written by Phil Cubeta, my Employee of the Month. Signed, Candidia Cruiskhanks, CEO of Wealth Bondage, Proud Sponsor of Gifthub: Saving Capitalism through The Gifts of the Many. Your gratitude, expressed in dollars, moves me deeply. Truly it does. More please. I need much more from each of you, now!