Candidia Cruikshanks, CEO of Wealth Bondage and Proud Sponsor of Gifthub, and an inspiration to many, including me, has charged me as her most loyal minion to find a Trusted Advisor Serving Professional who can deal with what is for her a pressing issue. She would like Wealth Bondage to operate in the event of her untimely demise as a perpetual, hereditary monarchy, tyranny, empire, aristocracy of excellence, or family owned monopoly for at least 100 years. The problem is that she has no legitimate, living issue of her loins, and her tubes were tied on order of the court after an unfortunate incident when she was 11. She tried cloning, but the product of that is not working out too well. She has a horror of going from shirtsleeves to shirtsleeves in three generations, associating those with her mother who was a seamstress in a sweatshop owned by. Well, never mind who owned it, it was some kind of family business, still going strong, actually, but now a wholly owned subsidiary of Wealth Bondage. So here is the deal: If you can figure you how to make Wealth Bondage Perpetual, Mistress Candidia will adopt you as her own Son or Daughter, making you and your heirs Masters or Mistress of Wealth Bondage for Life with all the rights and privileges appertaining thereunto, Now, to win this Prize of a Lifetime, you must submit a plan on how you would use her Six Dimensions of Capital to sow confusion among her enemies, subvert democracy, take over the media, brainwash the public, wreck the market, and destroy the Atlantic and Pacific Oceans. Well, actually, given the progress we have made in all but the last, a workable 12 month action plan to destroy the Pacific would be a good start. But do at least touch on how you would make perpetual her current gains in the other areas as well. In her own words:
I suffer so, Children. Truly, I do. What if Wealth Bondage were to end with me? What would my little slaves do then? How would they know what to do without me or my heirs providing them with the appropriate guidance adapted to their dim understandings and stations in life? Without org charts, incentive pay, advertising, monitoring and measuring, and fear of terror, what would these little morons do? How would they feel free if not bound? It is not for me that I want to found Wealth Bondage as a Family Owned Dynasty. It is for the little people in their pathetic shirtsleeves who do so need strong leadership, Honey. So, please, kneel, supplicate, and submit your plans to me for my amusement. Some will go to the next level, the rest of you losers will be voted off my island, cut into what we call chum and fed to my pet shark. That is how life is. I say so. And it is my world. Get used to it, Honey, for the next 1,000 lovely years. We Noble Cruikshanks will live and rule forever!!!