Tiger wasn't apologizing to actual people, to his wife or kids or even his confused fans. Tiger was apologizing, straight up and to the bone, to capitalism itself. To his own brand. It was a scary attempt to shore up the multimillions in endorsement deals, his future as a billion-dollar icon. Tiger the man was apologizing to Tiger, Inc., mostly for tainting its earnings potential.
If the heads of the bond rating agencies were to apologize for their fraudulent ratings of subprime-backed bonds, and if Congress were to apologize for not prosecuting each other, and the justice department were to apologize for structural injustice, we might have a merry night of it. We would be clear by show's end that we might as well celebrate malfeasance as fight it. Tiger may retire from golf and start a porn channel. Or maybe he could join Dr. Drew's Celebrity Rehab. Why not? We the People want it all ourselves, including obeisance. To see the great grovel for our forgiveness, how great is that? We are in charge here, as Kings and Queens of Consumerland.