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May 01, 2008


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Captain Blowtorch


You think there is some kind of conspiracy to kill, blackmail or intimidate those who can hurt Top Management? You think those in charge are going to bust your head in? What are you, paranoid? Maybe you should see a shrink. You getting all jumpy.

Well, you are damn right to fear for your life. I was asking just the other day, when they are going to give me the go ahead to kick your doors in. They said, "Give him time. He will hang himself and save us the trouble." I said, "What trouble, that asshat has it coming." They said, "Go easy, Captain, let's make it look nice and legal like. Maybe we set him up as a terrorist or something like that, find uranium in his basement. Or, wait, maybe he is raising money for Terrorists."

No! I am just kidding. If you were on the Morals Tutors to kill list, I would not be posting a warning here. You would be swinging from a lanyard in your own garage, with two or three handwritten suicide notes at your feet. In fact, I have them right here; they look pretty good. Your own wife would think you wrote them. No! Just kidding.

You don't rise to the level of a hit. You might want to back off, though, Phil. We know where your sister lives, if you know what I mean. Good looking woman. Seems awfully depressed, though. Hate to have her take her own life, or something like that. Be good!

This is not a threat. You would be paranoid to take it that way. I am just having a little fun.

Captain Blowtorch

Joseph McPatriot

My name, or, rather the name of someone with the same name as me, was found in the phone records, she published on line, probably to protect herself. But I categorically deny that I or my superiors had anything to do with her tragic demise. This is America, people, we do not torture and we do not kill by extra-legal means. We have lots of memos, sure, authorizing us to do whatever we damn well please to protect the American People, but to suggest we would use those memos, and operate by secret murderous means to save our own butts from disgrace or jail is simply un-American. Traitors think like that. Death to all Traitors! We do bad things abroad, sure, that is why we have secret forces and all that. But to suggest that we would use the same techniques here that we have used for decades abroad, is simply preposterous. How can you even think it? Much less blog such innuendoes? Have you no shame, Sir?


now is the time for all goood men to come to the aid of the preponderance


Are testing your typing, Arhi, maybe a new keyboard? See the quick brown fox....


chinese dude said i should change it to archi. said it was no longer only mine that i needed to open up.

JJ Commoner

You guys are both paranoid .. need to open up and stop seeing boogeymen around each corner.

I mean, shit happens but there's no pattern to it and accidents do occur from time to time. It's just life.


Thanks, JJ. You make a good point. That is why I propose the whistle-blowers actuarial database. We need to prove once and for all that there is no statistically significant pattern linking the offending of power and getting sick, hurt, disabled, injured, or dead. Once we prove there is no correlation, a lot of people will be braver than they are today.


the preponderance is munificent. he accepts all fingers errant barren and prone.

Errant, Barren and Prone, LLC KFC OBGYN





Well, one thing is clear. On the internet, the crowd has sourced its wisdom: All must be Transparent. No aliases. No masquerade. All must be what they appear to be. So, whoever offed the DC Madame (assuming anyone did), will you please step forward in propria persona and tell us who ordered the hit? That way we will have Transparency and Accountability all around. If no one steps forward, we must assume that all is as it seems on TV.

JJ Commoner

I was being sarcastic ... and I can't tell if you could tell or not. But you probably knew that.


Yup, I could tell.

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