Phil: There are some readers (I hardly believe it, but I'm told) to whom my Satires seem too bold.
Friend: Phil, you know, you catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.
Phil: Fine, but how am I with flattery to cure the wealthy of vanity?
Friend: To each client the client's own vices. Who are we to judge? We are here but to serve. We help clients live their values and pass them on to their children. It is noble work we do.
Phil: If a client had syphyllis would you work with him to pass it on to his children? How then can we work to pass along the clients' vice and folly, their hypocrisy, though they call it "family values"?
Friend: Syphyllis is a disease. Corruption is in the eye of the beholder. Who are we to judge what is high or low, noble or debased, healthy or corrupt, authentic or hypocritical, in good faith or bad faith? A tree is judged by its fruits. What have been the fruits of your labors? How many have you cured? How much have you earned? How many referrals do you get? With your tart tongue you injure only yourself. No one basically cares what a loser like you thinks. Look at you! Naked on a sack of garbage. And if you don't mind my saying so, you really do stink.
Phil: I have the empire within.
Friend: You mean you are insane? Everyone says so. And you yourself admit that you are at best a World Class Fool.
Phil: Here in the Dumpster on the mildewing pile of great books, I.....
Friend: Phil, if you will excuse me, there goes Bill Gates. Bill! Bill! Brilliant speech at Davos! I have read it 1,000 times and have only begun to assimiliate its wisdom. Yes, I have blogged it every day and will until you return my calls!
End Note: Provided as a public service for the instruction of advisors to wealth by Dr. Amrit Chadwallah, curator of the Gifthub Dumpster-Ready Satire Collection: "Please compare this satire by our unique and irreplaceable genius, our national treasure, Phil Cubeta, with the original counterfeit here." Authorial note: Please for that matter compare Dr. Chadwallah to Martinus Scriblerus. And if you would be so kind as to compare me to Diogenes, or Lear's Fool, or even Thersites, I would be much obliged. Now if you will excuse me I am re-reading the Dunciad in search of a cure for madness. We are all mad and the prognosis does not look good.