According to the WSJ what billionaires really want for Christmas is a flattering biography:
Mint Lifestyle produced a mini gift guide for its clients this fall. The most popular item was a commissioned biography, which it says wives are buying for their husbands. The books, which cost around $30,000, tell a person's life and business story.
Have I been saying this, or what? I keep telling you English Majors Rule! I will do your bio for free, friend, if you are worth one billion or more. Just stop by the Dumpster. We chat until I can fit you to the proper archetypal story, most likely Midas, The Emperor's New Clothes, Peachum in The Beggar's Opera, Tartuffe, or Madame Bovery, say, or Daisy Buchanon in Gatsby, or Trimalchio from the Satyricon. Then I write a satire that cures you of your vanity, leaving you chastened, but grateful that someone has at least taken the time to straighten you out, rather than shining you on. Instead of the $30,000 that that these flunky writer's charge to swell your already distended ego, I charge nothing - strictly pro bono publico, and my pleasure! Healed, you can pay it forward, contributing the $30,000 to Inspired Legacies, my charity of choice.
Hope Conrad Black gets a commissioned bio under the prison Christmas Tree. Prometheus! For that I would charge. I can do it, I will do it, but that is a $50,00 piece of work if I can bring it off.
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