As a Morals Tutor to America's (and Canada's and the UK's) Wealthiest Families, I, as a kind of amateur moral physician, do what I can to cure them of spiritual pride, vanity, and presumption. Fools and Satirists have ever held this unlucky role. I count my efforts pro bono publico on behalf of Lord Conrad Black to be a failure, based on the comment he relayed to me via his Brother in Christ, and closest spiritual confidante in Chicago, Joseph Fosco. Even as Lord Black faces sentencing, I see (based on the secondhand comment) no indication that he has repented, let alone reformed. Joseph Fosco has apparently abandoned the conversation here, leaving behind only his insults, and the laughter of the crowd. Perhaps someone from Hudson could take his place at my side as co-physician as we probe the wound. I can think of no better example, this side of Plutarch, of the contrast between the good and bad physician. The one cuts deep, seeking a cure, no matter how hopeless the case appears to be, while the patient howls in anguish. The other strokes and admires the diseased limb as the patient murmurs satisfaction and gratitude. Physician! Heal thyself.