Here is the fundamental sophistry in social venture talk. When a business does financial good and social bad, we say it has one bottom line, financial. When a business allegedly does financial good and social good we say it has two bottom lines. Now why don't we say that all businesses have two bottom lines and that in many cases the social bottom line is negative? Because if we said that in corporate sponsored media our advertisers would desert us. Until all businesses are measured on both bottom lines the accounting for social benefit is fraudulent, like a business that only accounts for gains, not losses. Surely, this is obvious. When capitalism has to add a second bottom line, incommensurable with the first, and refuses to net the two, it has already acknowledged the inadequacy of its own conceptual framework. Social Venture accounting is fuzzy math. This conclusion will slowly dawn on the MBAs who will soon run, as I do, naked and raving through the streets.