If God is a market, and God is just, how can so many things be so messed up? Is this not the problem of evil? The best answer I know is from Alexander Pope's Essay on man, via Leibnitz's theodicy, then, unkindly satirised by Voltaire in Candide. "This is the best of all possible worlds." All the evil done by markets, all the injustice, is a necessary evil. In this way our Theory of Shared Value, of Blended Value, of Triple Bottom Lines, and Blended Value Scorecards, of Social Return on Investment, all come out even. Wealth Bondage is not a perfect system, it is just the best system ever conceived by the mind of Almighty God. Virtue, generally, is rewarded, as the history of my boss, and generous patron, clearly shows.
First, Candidia, she who rules us all, bought a tobacco company using a loan against that same company. She bled the company white, ended the pension, and fired 45% of the workers, briefly raised the profits, sold out, and make a bundle.
Second, she started a Foundation to fund social ventures and the rhetoric thereof. That is how I got involved as an English Major, busted for selling my body on the street out behind a Dumpster, then released on Parole for time served and good behavior as a stoolie. Having fingered a hitman for a drug cartel who had run drugs for the CIA, in a drugs for arms for hostages deal, I was hired in the witness protection program, in a bakery run by the Foundation to give ex-cons and high value detainees deemed innocent in military courts a work history and get them back on the job market and off the dole. I started out greasing baking pans, and keeping the FDA agents out of the pantry where we stored the flour and the rat poison. I stayed on to write up the theory and practice of Wealth Bondage Philanthropy. That got me a job as Adjunct in Charge of Meaning at the local community College, where I tortured Biblical passages in an English writing skills class for pre-law students, which in turn got me hired by Wealth Bondage in Public Relations. From there it was an easy move to Editor of Gifthub where I write puff pieces on Hyperagents, and Platinum Preferred Wealth Bondage Clients. But enough about me. We are talking about social justice here.
Third, Candy, shorted the tobacco company, betting its stock would decline, given how she had gutted it. But to make sure, she gave a grant from the Foundation to fund a Public Information campaign on the ills of smoking. She also used Catalytic Philanthropy, funding politicians to pass laws raising the cigarette tax. And she provided a grant to a Tea Party group, Citizens for Freer Speech to hire a Surpeme court Justice's wife as its Director. (Apparently his mistress was unwilling to accept the money, said she might have been an adulterer but she was no whore. She said she would rather go broke than sell her country, a quaint thought for a woman well past her prime with little left to peddle except influence or her country.) When the Supremes passed the law, making Corporate money Free Speech, Candy, bought both Presidential Candidates to insure that Speech and Markets remain Free.
Fourth, Candy, made a generous grant to Occupy Wall Street to Occupy the tobacco company. The stock tanked, and Candy covered the short, making billions. In this way she has done well by doing good.She single handedly destroyed an evil company!
Fifth, as the first tobacco company went under, she bought their closest competitor whose sales boomed, as their market share grew. Now she is gutting that company. What works, works. More money made, more good done, blended closely in an inextricable Value Proposition for the Good of All.
Now, I am writing a best practices white paper arguing that Markets are Just and Candy, though not perfect, is as good as she can reasonably be expected to be in this the best of all possible worlds. Not everyone finds my paper credible, but I notice that my boss does. And when Candy is happy, I get a paycheck and sometimes even a merit award. It is only fair. At one time I could have amounted to something as a real intellectual. I can't blame Candy, though. It was the bum wine that did me in. I have been clean and sober for three days now, I think, not including the bottle of cooking wine, which is regrettably almost gone. One day at time. It is the hallucinations that bother me. I should know better than to blog when walls of my Dumpster are moving like polka dots lungs, or the walls in that padded cell. When I am feeling better, I can do a more businesslike job on this post. Basically, what I am trying to say is that it is all good. But you already knew that.