The Happy Tutor, Dungeon Master to the Stars in Wealth Bondage, and my Personal Values Coach, said, I had a mangy dog so hungry he joined me in the Dumpster, eating scraps even I rejected, Phil. That added nothing, however, to our bottom line, so I trained him to the scent of money, and he became as loyal as a dog to anyone who had a wad of it. I named him Priest, but it turns out she was a bitch. Now she has a litter of puppies who look just like her. According to Dr. Amrit Chadwallah, Senior Adjunct in Charge of Hidden Meanings in Wealth Bondage, this is a parable of some sort, and casts light on the human condition. I will spare you his convoluted interpretation and only say that her puppies are named Wisdom, Virtue, Truth, Justice, and Beauty. All night long you can hear them howling. Each needs a good home. Do you know anyone who might take them in? If not, we may have to put them down.