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Have you found for both you and your children, that the secret of happiness lies not in pursuing happiness, but in having meaning and purpose that goes beyond self and family to include community,
Wealth Bondage is proud to sponsor Gifthub. To learn more about Wealth Bondage go to wwww.wealthbondage.com.
country, the world, and even the divine? The real pleasure of working with those attracted to giving is that we can interact with good people in their best moments, doing the best they can to create a better world for all of us in Wealth Bondage.
In opening a good philanthropic conversation, an open ended question is best. For example: "When in Wealth Bondage have you felt most free? When in Wealth Bondage have you felt most inspired? What do you want to change or preserve about life in Wealth Bondage?"
From there we go into a strategic planning discussion: "Where in Wealth Bondage do you think your investment in outputs would produce the best outcome? How will that be measured and managed? How will you subordinate others to your purpose? How will they be managed, controlled and disciplined?"
From there we go into the tactical philanthropic aspects: "Foundation managed by Wealth Bondage? Donor advised fund managed by Wealth Bondage? Charitable Remainder Trust managed by Wealth Bondage? Charitable Lead Trust managed by Wealth Bondage? Double bottom line social venture in Wealth Bondage? Socially Responsible Wealth Bondage Investment? Political Wealth Bondage return on Investment? Might you Mission-Align your Principal for Total Wealth Bondage Return (to self and society)? Or, would you prefer to invest a direct gift in the United Fund of Wealth Bondage, to promote Wealth Bondage Freedom around the world through full spectrum dominance?"
Overall, I am finding that our clients' happiness lines up well with the profitablity of Wealth Bondage. Thank God it works out that way, or I would be operating out of a Dumpster like my old mentor, The Happy Tutor, Dungeon Master to the Stars.
| I don't want to take anything away from Phil Cubeta, the Master of Revels here. He is the kind of middle brow straightman that Candidia always picks to act as her feckless flunky and foil. Behind his back she calls him "totally pathetic," and who am I to disagree with she who rules us all. What I do want to protest, though, is my being confined to this Blue Box which always already circumscribes (i.e., from the Latin to "inscribe around") my discourse, reducing its credibility and putting all I write under suspicion, in my case totally undeserved, given my lifelong pursuit of excellence. |
I would also like to point out in my official capacity as Senior Wealth Bondage Fellow in Charge of Hermeneutics with special reference to Hidden Meanings, is that these Blue Boxes produce a kind hernia or involution or rupture in the sensitive membranes of our shared textuality. It both limns and violates what - yes, following Derrida - I can only call the Hymen separating Gifthub from Wealth Bondage, or Philanthropy in General, from Wealth Systems in General!
That being said, I do not find this particular aporia stimulating or productive. No jouissance to speak of, really. It is all a bit too labored. You call call it post-post-modern if you wish, but it strikes me as Ancient, in fact a throw back to Menippius himself, the Cynic poet who work descends to us via Seneca the Younger, Diogenes, Sterne, Swift, and Wilde, to name a few.
Beyond that, beyond the whole question of Origins (and Origin-ality) this Blue Box forces into the foreground the whole question of Authorial Intent. Phil is not "inside the Blue Box," nor is the content here subject to his control. I kiss no one's hand and fawn upon no man, least of all Phil. Thus, what is inside the box exceeds the boundaries of the text that is Gifthub, both inside it and outside it, thereby producing its own heteroglossollalia, if I may be permitted to coin that striking term.
Who then will stop the endless play of signifiers set in motion by the Blue Box? What Author Function will wrap all within the Horizon of His/Her/Its Intentionality? Beats me, really.
You know what this is like, Tom, it is as if you were reading along in Finnegans Wake and all of a sudden you stumble on a biographical write up on Richard Ellman, Joyce's profound critic, but one who would not write about Joyce until many years later. Now, if Joyce had quoted (proleptically, to be sure) his unborn critic, and had included that quotation inside some kind of Blue Box, would that tend to still the free play of the Signifier, or only make its motions ever more catastrophic to our readerly readings of that writerly text, if you know what I mean? (c.f., Roland Barthes).
Anyway, as I averred above, it beats me. I hope others will devote their life to this mystery. I have my hands full deciphering the chatter coming in through the phone tap on Gunderson. I am supposed to frame him for the Valerie Plame deal and get him to Gitmo after the hit men on the Freedom Team cut off his clothes, give him a drugged enema, and throw him in chains onto a plane bound for Cuba. So far, all I have on him is a bunch of repetititive verbiage about Vision in Philanthropy. But he sounds guilty. What the hell, under torture, I am sure he will confess to something. I think I will just doctor the evidence and be done with it. The trial will be secret. It will never come back to bite me. I get paid by the job. Every prisoner in the Freedom Gulag raises the stock price of Wealth Bondage Prisons International by $500,000 and I get options. So, Gunderson, kiss Council on Foundations goodbye.
- Dr. Amrit Chadwallah, Adjunct in Charge of Forensic Hermeneutics in Wealth Bondage
Just a word, if I may, on a new editorial convention: the Blue Box. For some time now I have been under considerable economic strain. Gifthub has still to reach a breakeven. My personal finances are a shambles. I had one of those subprime loans and they are taking my house. The repo man from KIVA Micro-Finance has just repossesed my car. My wife left me and took the kids back to her mother's trailer. The Dumpster thing is no longer a joke. Anyway, my generous patron, Candidia Cruikshanks, CEO of our esteemed sponsor, Wealth Bondage, has been trying to take advantage of my straightened circumstances to get me to add little advertorials, editorial "Words of Wisdom from Candidia," and product placements for Wealth Bondage. As a man of integrity, I said, "No, absolutely not! My reader expect the straight story, not some bs from Wealth Bondage." Well, she pulled my funding, and after sleeping on it, we worked out what I think you will agree is an honorable solution. I will indeed include Wealth Bondage advertorials, and product placements, as well as whatever wisdom Candidia may provide, inset into Gifthub, but will clearly mark them as such. Hence the Blue Box.
Whenever you see a Blue Box you will know that the content is ported over from my generous patron and esteemed funder. I do not speak for her and she does not speak for me. You can judge that content for yourself, much as you would an advertisement on tv. Or you may choose not to read this content in the Blue Box. It is up to you as an informed consumer of Wealth Bondage and its anti-type Giftub. Above all, you will know that anything that is not in a Blue Box is pure me. Totally honest. No fakery. No trickery. No tainted content. Nothing Carnivalesque. No dialogism. No Mennipean satire. Just me, in propria persona: earnest, direct, plainspoken, moderate, well informed, decorous, businesslike, sane, and balanced, like, for example, The NY Times, Philanthromedia, Give and Take or Steve Gunderson.
Now, I know from your calls and letters that some readers are offended by the admixture of Dominance and Submission themes in a blog about Wealthy Donors and those who seek Donations, whether or not on their knees. Whereas Wealth Bondage is, I am told, a disgusting farrago of sexuality, textuality, expose, unwlecome truth-telling and satire, Gifthub is and should remain a moderate and reliable source of objective news on the giving front within the accepted conventions of prime time media. Gifthub is for a family audience. It should remain inoffensive and wholesome as befits the topic of philanthropy. I totally agree. I believe that the Blue Box should solve your problem and mine too. I get continued funding and all you have to do is look the other way, as you look the other way when ads come on, or when you pass a homeless person on the street, or the newscaster lies in your face, or a presidential spokesperson lies to you, or when your family and friends begin to disappear from the street, all in the name of Freedom. If you can look past all that, Friends, you can ignore whatever Wealth Bondage provides inside the Blue Box.
Seriously, in real life, in a real tv show, or in entertainment, there is no firewall between the sponsors, the funders, the writers, performers, and the stringpullers. Wealth Bondage content and product placement and war footage and think tank thinkers are festooned throughout the prime time news. You even see little Cans of Wealth Bondage Lite in scenes from Sex and the City, placed there by the Wealth Bondage advertising firm. At Gifthub, I flatly refuse to sell out. All Wealth Bondage content is quarantined inside the Blue Box where it can safely be ignored. At no point is the main text outside the Blue Box tainted by Wealth Bondage ownership and editorial control. I am pure. You are pure. All we have to do, you and I, is to totally ignore any post inside the Blue Box. How cool is that?
To Whom it May Concern
Gifthub is an immortal work of art in theMenippean Tradition,written in a Padded Cell (he calls it a Dumpster for obvious reasons) in a state of shock by Phil Cubeta, Morals Tutor to America's Wealthiest Families, under an alias, or alter ego, The Happy Tutor, Dungeon Master to the Stars in Wealth Bondage...... More....
Email Phil Cubeta, Morals Tutor to America's Wealthiest Families.