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100 Women in Hedge Funds-Stanford PACS Conference: Alpha & Altruism

These women in hedge funds want to know where I am in my philanthropic journey? LOL! I tried going from success to significance, Honey, but thank God I booked a round trip ticket. Give me unlimited financial success and I will hire some schmuck like Phil Cubeta to tell the world how much good I am doing. Jed Emerson has a lot to offer too, but he is a bit too ethical for my taste. My Balanced Score Card, Honey, Phil gives me straight A's. Good luck with the conference, I can't attend as I am doing the keynote at a seceret Bilderberg Conference. How to dominate the world and enslave them all is my topic. I don't have the time to jerk myself around with all this hocus pocus double bottom line crap. Some people get off on it, but, get a life!, or a boyfriend. Believe me, Ladies, the thrill of doing good wears off fast. Stick to what you are good at. Get the money and tell them all to kiss your boots. Alpha and Altruism, Jesus, who do you pay to write that shit? What do they call that, alliteration? Did they charge you extra? You would think Stanford Business School grads would be above that artsy fartsy poetic crap.


Candidia Cruickshanks, CEO of Wealth Bondage