Prostesters Dress as Major Donors for Fundraiser with Mitt
An Open Letter to the 1% from Interfaith Worker Justice

Bespoke Memoirs

Memoire Shoppe:

Your story is a priceless treasure. It is a gift that appreciates over time. It is a gift that will be valued more than any material possession. Your story illuminates your past, frames your present, and becomes an inheritance for your descendants.

Like the sea, your story ebbs and flows with primeval rhythms. It is lessons shared, tears dried, joys savored, and laughter that rings across generations. It is the rough sea mixed with the tame bay. It is as ever-evolving as the shoreline along a shell strewn beach. Your story leaves footprints in the sands of time. 
Will you be remembered?
For another $1.30 I will write a literary critique of your life story, and the style and content of your memoir. Your primeval rhythms will get special attention from me personally and a trained therapist. As Yeat's put it,
 You think it horrible that lust and rage
  Should dance attendance upon my old age;
  They were not such a plague when I was young;
  What else have I to spur me into song?
In your case it might be vanity, greed, sentimentality, religiosity, the urge for control, illusions of immortality, remorse, or despair seeking solace in flattery, or the simple pleasures of a second childhood. I don't know but if we work on this we might be able to come up with some kind of story that will wash with coming generations, if we house it in a silk slip cover inside a leather case inside a children's playhouse made of enameled gold. I do not mean to belittle it. Even with the beach erosion, undermining its foundation, and lightning bolts flung from heaven bouncing off its turret, your life story stands like a beacon on the shore of eternity. Mine is a disgrace. I have lived my whole life as a sponger and a parasite to wealthy clients. The sooner I am forgotten the better.