Diogenes was described by Plato as "the mad socrates;" he was called "the dog philosopher," since he lived like a mad dog in the streets, naked, eating scraps from the pavement. When we are bitten by a moral philosopher, we run mad too. Think how many have been driven mad by Jesus Christ, or Mohammed? We are carriers, each of us, of the madness of our times, a madness that strikes us being the pink of mental health. It is only when we we are bitten by the madman that we become sane. Socrates said he was the wisest of men because he knew he did not know; Diogenes was the sanest of men because he knew he was mad. So, likewise, "Physician heal thyself," means cure thine own moral deformity before attempting to save others - and which moral healer can admit his own sins, particularly the sin of spiritual pride? Jesus worked out of stable. Diogenes from a Dumpster. Swift spoke of three oratorical engines, raised high: the pulpit, the hustings, and the gallows. Where, my fellow moralists, do you find your ladder? How do you find that tone you have of moral authority, or of sweet reason above the fray? And why is it that those who climb highest in our noble trade most distinctly display their posteriors?