For the last few months, to provide a higher rate of Social Return, our Social Investor who surely needs no introduction here, has been outsourcing all but the most Mission Critical posts at Gifthub to alienated labor in India. "The world is flat, she says, "so screw you." I had relied on Phil Cubeta, my Protege, to manage it all subject to the usual moral compromises and calculations of personal expediency. The results are what you see - plain prose, an earnest persona that none would wish to call his own, and an audience that grows daily but has no comments, no interest in joining the conversation, no stake in the game. Therefore, I have returned to my Tub to accost passersby in the spirit of Diogenes, the greatest uncrucified morals tutor of all time. All posts marked as "Gift Tub" are authentic and should be considered as works of art in the neoclassical tradition, that of satire, our noble trade, designed to delight and instruct my fellow citizens as to their responsibilities. These specially marked posts represent my true teachings, couched in parables, for those with eyes to see and ears to hear. Please disregard the others, as the feeble efforts of a struggling Professor to ingratiate himself with the world at large, and with the wealthy in particular. Moral Reform will not come so easily, though I wish the poor fool well. To celebrate the Grand Re-Opening of The Dumpster, you get a pair of ass's ears. Wear them proudly - Know Thyself as the Wise Man said, his ears rippling majestically. I am the wisest of men, because I know I am a pompous ass. Art, as Horace said, holds the mirror up to nature, as might a good barber. Is it any wonder that we wince, seeing in the mirror, as did Midas, our ears standing up proudly?