Janus, god of gates, looking forward and back, god of the first hour of every day, the first day of every month, and the first month of every year, god of beginnings and settings out in war and in peace: May the new year bring us victory in war, confusion to our enemies, and an empire secure in wealth and power.
So, prayed the heathens in their ignorance and pride. May we, of another dispensation, pray to a more enlightened God for peace, harmony, and a new beginning in the spirit of generosity and love. Teach me, Lord to overcome my anger. Let me not become an extreme moralist like The Happy Tutor, inflicting pain on the unjust. Let me be as mild as Dick Minim or Wolf Blitzer. Let me turn the other cheek like Jesus. And, Dear Lord, whosoever gets crucified this year, or boiled alive, or beaten to death in some dark cell, let it not be me. If I know anything inconvenient to anyone with power over me, give me the good sense to keep it to myself. In thy holy name, I pray.